Love Language #5 Acts of Service. Today is our final love language of study, “Acts of Service“. This is the love language that reminds us that some people express love when they do things for you, and some people expect things to be done for them.

“You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” Gal 5:13


The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Love to Your Spouse, by Dr. Gary Chapman pg 99

“Learning the love language of acts of service will require some of us to reexamine our stereotypes of the roles of husbands and wives. Mark was doing what most of us do naturally. He was following the role model of his father and mother. But he wasn’t even doing that well. His father washed the car and mowed the grass. Mark did not, but that was the mental image he had of what a husband should do. He definitely did not picture himself vacuuming floors and changing the baby’s diapers. To his credit, he was willing to break from his stereotype when he realized how important it was to Mary. That it is necessary for all of us if our spouses primary love language asks something of us that seems inappropriate to our role.

Due to the sociological changes of the past thirty years, there is no longer a common stereotype of the male and female role in American society. Yet that does not mean that all stereotypes have been removed. It means rather that the number of stereotypes have been multiplied. Before the days of television, a person’s idea of what a husband or wife should do and how they should relate was influenced primarily by one’s own parents. With the pervasiveness of television and the proliferation of single-parent families, however, role models are often influenced by forces outside the home. Whatever your perceptions, chances are your spouse perceives marital roles somewhat differently than you do. A willingness to examine and change stereotypes is necessary in order to express love more effectively. Remember, there are no rewards for maintaining stereotypes. But there are tremendous benefits to meeting the emotional needs of your spouse.”


It is truly fantastic that we now are able to understand our spouse and the way that they communicate love. The hardest part of speaking another’s love language is remembering not to return your own love language in thanksgiving, when your spouse begins to speak yours. For instance, if my love language is “receiving gifts” and Jeff goes out of his way to buy me something, and I buy him something in return for a “thank you”, he won’t feel loved! He might even stop buying me things! However, if he buys me something, and I immediately say, “WOW! I can’t believe you did that! You are SOO awesome! I am so proud of you, and can not believe that you took the time to think of me, and remembered that I wanted this!” He would feel loved, because I responded to his act of love to me, with “Words of Affirmation”. I used to wonder why when I would go out of my way to buy a perfect present for him, he wouldn’t seem to care. What I learned was that praising him, was the best gift that I could give.

Acts of service is a self explanatory love language. Washing dishes, doing the laundry, polishing the shoes, ironing, taking out the trash… any action that serves another is an “act of service”. If you suspect that your spouse’s love language is acts of service, it may take some effort on your part to remember to wash the car for them, but you will be pleasantly surprised when they exhale in relief from not having to do the work! Those with Acts of Service are especially hard workers, and their jobs are never done, but if you can lend a hand to them- you will be loving them more than you can imagine!

A prayer for today,
Father God, show your children how to serve one another in the best way possible. Reveal to them how to love one another in their own love language and how to express the kind of love that their spouse needs/wants/desires. We can all be loved, and love others, thank you Lord for serving us with the option to be able to love. Without You there is NO love, but in You we ALL can love, and that is the best love language spoken- Your love for us. Thank you Lord for these last few days of study. We LOVE YOU. In Your Son Jesus’ name, AMEN!

May God Bless you today as you learn how to love each other and may others begin to see the value in helping you in all of your acts!

Previous notes in this series,


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