*This note is by no means intended to diagnose or belittle the emotion/reality of depression. This note is intended to shed some light on a biblical figure that suffered temporarily from depression, and the realities that come with pursuing your vision.

“Wherefore the king said unto me, Why [is] thy countenance sad, seeing thou [art] not sick? this [is] nothing [else] but sorrow of heart. Then I was very sore afraid, And said unto the king, Let the king live for ever: why should not my countenance be sad, when the city, the place of my fathers’ sepulchres, [lieth] waste, and the gates thereof are consumed with fire? Then the king said unto me, For what dost thou make request? So I prayed to the God of heaven.And I said unto the king, If it please the king, and if thy servant have found favour in thy sight, that thou wouldest send me unto Judah, unto the city of my fathers’ sepulchres, that I may build it. And the king said unto me, (the queen also sitting by him,) For how long shall thy journey be? and when wilt thou return? So it pleased the king to send me; and I set him a time.” Neh 2:2-6

Nehemiah went to the city of Jerusalem and saw that it was in poor condition, and the Lord gave him a vision to rebuild it. Nehemiah worked for the king as a cupbearer, and until he saw the state of Jerusalem we can assume he was happily employed. However, after the vision from the Lord he was found sad, and with sorrow of the heart. He became depressed in his current role, because it was keeping him from the vision God had given him, and he had no idea how to begin and be released to do the work.

This is from Myles Monroe’s book, The Principles and Power of Vision:

“Nehemiah saw in his heart a vision of the rebuilt wall, he returned to his job, but he was no longer satisfied with it. He was depressed until he was working on the vision. When you have a vision, you are sad about where you are because you want to be where your true joy is. Not only sadness at your present conditions, but also anger, can drive you to a new vision and take you to new horizons. You will never be successful until you are angry about not doing what you know you should be doing. If you’re happy about what you ‘re doing, you’re going to end up settling right there. “


Thank the Lord that the king recognized Nehemiah in his weakness, and that he desired to help him. As it turned out the king not only allowed him to leave, he also funded the vision! Nehemiah may have been sad, and depressed at his situation, but he held on to the vision from God and that vision and obedience he had to God moved on the heart of the king.

When Nehemiah got started rebuilding the wall, it says… “So we rebuilt the wall till it reached half its height, for the people worked with all their heart.” Neh 4:6

They didn’t stop until the wall was built to half its height! What a vision! How thrilled were they, once the vision had begun!

My encouraging word to you today is, if you are working night and day in your “own” business or in pursuit of your vision as well as working in a job in order to pay the bills, don’t lose heart. If you are itching to be done with something just so that you can ‘get back to what you love’ you are exactly where God wants you to be!

Today is one of those days for me. I have endless chores and motherly duties, when all I want to do is finish my book, and publish it for the encouragement of my brothers and sisters in Christ. In order to complete the vision God gave me.

What I am going to do in the mean time? I am going to take the children for a walk and get a coffee. I am going to do something nice for myself and my children, and be confident knowing that the uncomfortable and sad state I am in is only temporary and is a result of a woman with a vision- which is MUCH better than sitting on my toosh doing nothing!


A prayer for today,

“Father God, Holy is thy name. You are the Alpha, the Omega, the beginning and the end and I am blessed to be your servant. Thank you for giving me a vision and a dream. Thank you for confirming to me today through Dr. Munroe that I am exactly where you want me to be. I do not want to be a watcher or a passer by, I want to be a headliner. A headliner for You. Help give me the strength of Isaiah and the faith of our father Abraham and the love and boldness your servant Paul. This race is not finished, and it will never be. I thank you for giving me the legs to run in it.”

“Where there is no vision, the people perish” Proverbs 29:18

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