“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Proverbs 5:18
WORKING TOWARD GETTING ON THE SAME PAGE AND ENDING STRIFE IN MARRIAGE
In the last fifteen years, Jeff and I have been through many changes, and difficult choices throughout our marriage. When should we have children, how many should we have, when to start a business, when to work a job. There have been so many issues and trials, and so many things to have to consider while going through our everyday lives.
Everyone goes through things while they are married, here are some tips that we have come up with in regards to being happily married and on the same page with your spouse:
In all your getting, get understanding.
A. ALWAYS clear up an offense before bed. Make the commitment that you will stay up until sun up if it means resolving issues before you go to sleep. “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Eph 4:26
B. BE careful what you say… your words to your spouse carry great subconscious and consious weight. Whatever you find yourself saying or insinuating will come back to you. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
C. CHOOSE to love your spouse. God created that man or woman for you, and if you are ever going to be evenly yoked you must realize that LOVING them is the first step, just the way they are. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
D. DETERMINE to better yourself personally, and grow in your understanding of God’s Word and understanding of the purpose and plans God has for your life. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11
E. EXCEPT your marriage! Except the fact that you are married and going to be with your spouse FOREVER, no going back. Every couple has struggles. Every couple will go through things, because in life we go through things regardless of marital status. Sickness, health, death, birth, stress, joy, sorrow, love, hate… you as a single person will go through all of this, if you have found a mate, YOU ARE BLESSED! “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Proverbs 5:18
F. FORGIVE yourself for being harsh, and forgive your spouse for responding harshly. “You can attract more flies with honey than vinegar.” The best way to win your spouse to your cause is to treat your spouse fairly, and to be patient in your pursuit of your livelong dream or vision. “But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1:4
G. GET DREAMING half the time husband and wife teams are at odds with each other because they have nothing left to work toward. The kids are grown and their work is on autopilot… now what? It is time for you and your spouse to get on the same page about your dreams, and see what you two can do together! A store, a bed and breakfast, a travel agency? Go in business together, you’ll do GREAT! “I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:19
H. HELP each other, God wasn’t kidding when He created woman to be man’s helper. God made women for men, and He did it with a divine purpose a Master plan! Set your mind to help your husband, and husbands recognize that wives are there to HELP you get your job done. This means in PARTNERSHIP. Partners can help, employees are dictated to. Treat each other as “helpers” NOT employees. “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18
I. IGNORE people around you who tell you it can’t be done and that happily married “isn’t” possible. These people are negative dream stealers and are NOT going to ensure your marital happiness. Sometimes being alone (apart from in-laws, sisters, brothers, friends) is the BEST way a couple can cope with their problems. Dig deep in the Word, go to a Word filled church and begin finding mentors who have been married longer and in the faith greater than you have been. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
Please check back in tomorrow for THE ABC’S OF GETTING ON THE SAME PAGE WITH YOUR SPOUSE: J-Q. To continue in this series subscribe to email HERE