Archives for August2011

The ABC’S of Getting on the Same Page With Your Spouse: J-Q

Continued from previous post…

 

J. JUST DO IT!

Nike wasn’t kidding when they put into the minds of every potential aspiring athlete the axiom to Just Do it! They went at their ad campaign as vigorously as their own motto suggests. To this day, Nike is known best by their logo and their famous mantra.

As married individuals, we too must JUST DO IT! We must DECIDE that being on the same team with our spouse is more important to us than having a plethora of friends. You must decide today, that if you are going to operate successful relationships in your life, it will involve the understanding that you do not have to be right all the time. Let your spouse participate in your relationship by offering suggestions, ideas, dreams and visions of their own… discuss your dreams with them, and commit to getting them done! “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph 5:21

K. KICK complacency to the CURB!

Complacency has NO place in the Kingdom of God, and it has NO place in relationships either. People who stop growing personally become like paper weights. Other than keeping things from “blowing away”, they are of no use. Waking daily in routine, going to work daily in routine, coming home daily in routine, eating,  sleeping, TV watching… etc. Is NOT growing.

Groundhog Day is the name of a movie, and should not be the epitomized lifestyle. Give your life a chance! Do something new TODAY! Visit a new store, walk a new path, read a new book. We are all creatures of habit, and it is time to create a NEW habit… a positive habit of daily exploration and embracing. There is no better way to kill a marriage off and kill it off quick, than to watch a spouse do nothing but sit idly by. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men” Col 3:23

L. LOVE Christ FIRST.

Surprisingly enough, most “Christians” do not do this. They think that they understand “love”, they “love” their spouses, they “love” their jobs, they “love” their cars, they “love” their kids. However without the true agape love of Christ in their lives, they CANNOT LOVE AT ALL. Infatuate yes, like yes, desire and lust after yes-yes-yes… but LOVE NO. The Bible says that “GOD IS LOVE”, which means that when you put GOD first place in your life… AND ONLY THEN… will you ever know love and then be able to give love to others.

You see receiving Christ is receiving an overflowing reservoir of love, just like a bubbling well pours over the edge of the wall, so Christ’s love pours out our hearts and into the lives of others. We can ONLY love our spouses unconditionally, if we have a personal relationship with Christ and can draw from that well.” We love Him, because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

M. MAN UP.

As a wife, there is nothing more attractive than a husband who knows his place in God’s Kingdom and chooses to walk in his authority. In today’s society, there tends to be an apathy upon men, a desire to trade in their covenant promised dominion for the security of women who will mother them (as God has designed them) and make all  their decisions for them.

If you are a husband who deeply desires to have your wife join you in your dreams or visions, you must lead her in your vision and stand firm. Explain to her that things are going to change- but for the better. Then begin making tough calls and standing by them. Your wife will respond favorably as long as all the changes and corrections to your  behavior are done based on the Word of God and in love. “Can a man bear children? Then why do I see every strong man with his hands on his stomach like a woman in labor, every face turned deathly pale?” Jeremiah 30:6

N. NO NEGATIVITY.

In his amazing book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie devotes an entire chapter to the “Three C’s” and admonishes us in relationships to NEVER Criticize, Condemn, or Complain. Can you imagine living this way? Jesus did! Think of the woman caught in the act of adultery… what did Jesus say? “Let you who is without sin cast the first stone.”

Jesus also reminds us that  having a critical spirit is like a man or woman who witnesses situations with a log in their eye, whatever issue you have in your life will be magnified and projected onto those who you are in relationship with. If you live life by the three c’s in your own self image, always criticizing yourself,  you will be instinctively be critical of others. For example, if you are cluttered in your drawers or purse… chances are you see your spouse as a slob. Your personal view will always rub off onto others. Practice living a life FREE of negativity, for yourself AND your spouse. Better to not say anything at all, than to say something negative. “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” Proverbs 23:7

O. Offer your assistance.

How many times has your spouse carried in the groceries while you sat on the couch? I think it would be pretty unrealistic to say “never”. However it is time to take chivalry back, and begin being gentlemen and ladies again. Husbands, your wife according to the Bible “is the weaker vessel” (1 Peter 3:7) and WILL do all the work if you let her, but you must not let her.

Offer to help, offer your assistance. Let her choose between help or no help. Don’t just assume “she’s got this”. Ladies, your husband needs your help. He needs you to support him and encourage him, he needs you to nourish his soul and his spirit. Begin offering your assistance to him in everything that you can. this can be as simple as offering your spouse a glass of water, when it is yourself that needs one. “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34

P. Put the Children #3.

Here is the order in which we choose to live by: God # 1, Spouse #2, Children #3, Job #4, Business (or extra income earning potential) #5. Every couple with children must recognize that kids are going to grow and leave the home. As you put God first place in your life your spouse should be #2. What does this mean? This means decisions about the children are always deferred to and spoken about by the parents first, it also means mommy and daddy make time to go on date nights together (just the two of them), and that the kids KNOW that daddy and mommy love each other the MOST.

If you ask our kids today “Who does daddy love BEST?” they will all say “MOMMY!” Children need to recognize that there is a God-given pecking order and NO it is not Daddy, Mommy, Eldest child. It is God > Daddy & Mommy > Kiddos. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Mark 10:7-9

Q. QUIT running home to your mommy and daddy for support.

I never suggested that the ABC’s would be easy to stomach. As a matter of fact I might loose some readers on this statement plain and simple. It is time for American couples to quit running to their parents for money or moral support against each other, and begin living on their own!

Sometimes family can help, like in transition periods. We have relocated at least three times, and in each case we stayed with family as we found a new home. However, we always worked and offered to pay our way. Never staying with them beyond just a few months. The time it took for us to find and locate a place of our own. As a new couple, if we asked for money… we always felt HORRIBLE, and quickly traded “asking parents” for “asking GOD”. As a wife I disciplined myself to talk to my husband only when we had issues and not my mother . As a husband, Jeff decided to get multiple jobs versus borrowing.

We are not saints in this department as we have owed family money in the past but this is not the optimal situation, and as hindsight is 20/20 it was ALWAYS a mistake.

It is better to not borrow, it is better to work. It is better to not pour out your problems on your parents. They will begin forming negative opinions of their son or daughter in-laws. Parents will always favor their own child. If you would like to have a happy marriage, choose to speak only highly of your spouse when dealing with your parents and make a vow between the two of you that YES, YOU CAN do it- you CAN live on YOUR OWN. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife” Genesis 2:24


The ABC’S of Getting on the Same Page With Your Spouse

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Proverbs 5:18

 WORKING TOWARD GETTING ON THE SAME PAGE AND ENDING STRIFE IN MARRIAGE

In the last fifteen years, Jeff and I have been through many changes, and difficult choices throughout our marriage. When should we have children, how many should we have, when to start a business, when to work a job. There have been so many issues and trials, and so many things to have to consider while going through our everyday lives.

Everyone goes through things while they are married, here are some tips that we have come up with in regards to being happily married and on the same page with your spouse:

 

In all your getting, get understanding.

A. ALWAYS clear up an offense before bed. Make the commitment that you will stay up until sun up if it means resolving issues before you go to sleep. “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Eph 4:26

B. BE careful what you say… your words to your spouse carry great subconscious and consious weight. Whatever you find yourself saying or insinuating will come back to you. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1

C. CHOOSE to love your spouse. God created that man or woman for you, and if you are ever going to be evenly yoked you must realize that LOVING them is the first step, just the way they are. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

D. DETERMINE to better yourself personally, and grow in your understanding of God’s Word and understanding of the purpose and plans God has for your life. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11

E. EXCEPT your marriage! Except the fact that you are married and going to be with your spouse FOREVER, no going back. Every couple has struggles. Every couple will go through things, because in life we go through things regardless of marital status. Sickness, health, death, birth, stress, joy, sorrow, love, hate… you as a single person will go through all of this, if you have found a mate, YOU ARE BLESSED! “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Proverbs 5:18

F. FORGIVE yourself for being harsh, and forgive your spouse for responding harshly. “You can attract more flies with honey than vinegar.” The best way to win your spouse to your cause is to treat your spouse fairly, and to be patient in your pursuit of your livelong dream or vision. “But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1:4

G. GET DREAMING half the time husband and wife teams are at odds with each other because they have nothing left to work toward. The kids are grown and their work is on autopilot… now what? It is time for you and your spouse to get on the same page about your dreams, and see what you two can do together! A store, a bed and breakfast, a travel agency? Go in business together, you’ll do GREAT! “I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:19

H. HELP each other, God wasn’t kidding when He created woman to be man’s helper. God made women for men, and He did it with a divine purpose a Master plan! Set your mind to help your husband, and husbands recognize that wives are there to HELP you get your job done. This means in PARTNERSHIP. Partners can help, employees are dictated to. Treat each other as “helpers” NOT employees. “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18

I. IGNORE people around you who tell you it can’t be done and that happily married “isn’t” possible. These people are negative dream stealers and are NOT going to ensure your marital happiness. Sometimes being alone (apart from in-laws, sisters, brothers, friends) is the BEST way a couple can cope with their problems. Dig deep in the Word, go to a Word filled church and begin finding mentors who have been married longer and in the faith greater than you have been. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

 

Please check back in tomorrow for THE ABC’S OF GETTING ON THE SAME PAGE WITH YOUR SPOUSE: J-Q. To continue in this series subscribe to email HERE

 

What to Do When You Are Married to a Dream Stealer: Part THREE

SO I AM STUCK MARRIED… NOW WHAT?

“So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Matthew 19:6

No one wants to be “stuck” doing anything. Especially when the Bible says, “Who the Son sets free is free indeed.” (John 8:36) Living in bondage is definitely not God’s BEST. From what we learned YESTERDAY, God HATES divorce… and that can leave those who are unhappily married and Christian in a quandary.

Frustrating isn’t it? Actually, this subject is applicable for any relationship that you can not seem to get away from. Like with your parents, or co-workers. Sometimes we are in relationships with people who are just plain NEGATIVE. Please try to remember when dealing with these people that the enemy is the one at the root of their behavior, and that they have become conditioned through the events in their lives to think towards negativity. Perhaps their parents were negative, their teachers were not understanding etc. Reminds me of all those negative Nillies in schools who through fear emblazoned into their pupils subconscious minds to never try because after all “trying inevitably means failure!”

WHAT I DID WHEN I WAS “STUCK” MARRIED

As hard as it is to imagine for me today, believe it or not, I used to feel stuck and trapped in my marriage. It was around the 5th year, and I was so exhausted from having babies and laundry and house chores (not to mention living broke), that I had had it! I needed positive reinforcement and FAST and I felt as if I was getting NONE. Jeff was working all the time, and my life was boring and predictable. I had not seen the manifestation of “perfectly” married that I always dreamed of, the Leave it to Beaveresque relationship or  the Van Dyke’s, shoot-  at that time I would have been happy as The Brady Bunch! (I am still holding out for an Alice of my own)

All we did as a couple was argue and get disappointed with each other. It was like, “God- you and me I get… but me and HIM? UGH!” Admitting my unhappiness would have meant admitting failure. I am NO QUITTER.

In response to this trying time instead of quitting, I decided to call on Jesus and ask Him what I should do. As a kind and loving intercessor, He was kind enough to tell me what to do NEXT.

STEP ONE in God’s PLAN

I made a list of all of my grievances. I decided if I couldn’t change my husband, I would have to change me. Making my list of what I was unhappy with was hard, but necessary… here is an example of what it looked like: (All the things that needed changing or that I wanted to see change)

  • I never wake up early
  • I don’t do laundry enough
  • I am too tired all the time
  • I hardly feel like being intimate
  • My dishes are never done
  • I don’t read enough

STEP TWO

I cried about my list! I was unhappy period. I had not been reading the Word, I was disagreeable and I had SO MUCH to change! I was taking responsibility for my half of the marriage and in so doing, I was realizing that maybe my husband wasn’t to blame at all! After I made my list of complaints I decided to rewrite them all and print the list out for me to be able to read:

  • I LOVE waking up early!
  • I ALWAYS have clean clothes
  • I have abounding energy!
  • I love my husband and being intimate
  • My dishes are always CLEAN
  • I love to read!
There are lots of books on the market that deal with reprogramming your subconscious mind. In theory, they are correct. Yes, we have the power to retrain our thinking, but there are limits when the reprogramming is not BACKED by the Word of God. For example, you can tell yourself a ZILLION times that you can jump off the high dive, but you will never do it if your only frame of reference is your own thoughts. BUT BUT BUT

When the root of your thoughts is the WORD of God, you can do AMAZING things because the Bible says: In Him ALL things are possible!

Retraining my brain went like this:
  • I LOVE waking up early! Because the Bible says: “I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.” Psalm 119:147
  • I ALWAYS have clean clothes! Because the Bible says: “She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.” Proverbs 31:22
  • I have abounding energy! Because the Bible says: “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
  • I love my husband and being intimate! Because the Bible says: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine.” Song of Solomon 1:2
  • My dishes are always CLEAN! Because the Bible says: “train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home” Titus 2:4
  • I love to read! Because the Bible says: “In all your getting get UNDERSTANDING” Proverbs 4:7
15 Years and 5 kids later… YES dreams DO come true!

IT IS NOT ENOUGH

It is not enough to just regurgitate information for change. YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Do you still remember the quadratic formula, all the periodic elements or your multiplication tables to 20? If you do, you had a teacher that was focused on treating the foundation of math like the Bible, if you didn’t – it is because you only remembered the information long enough to be able to “get a good grade” and then plum forgot it ALL. When we retrain our minds the Biblical way, GOD’S WORD IS THE WORD… PERIOD! WE DON’T FORGET IT UNLESS WE STOP GROWING!

It wasn’t enough for me to just read these new thoughts once in a while. I had to read them ALL the time! I printed a copy of my list to keep in my pocket, I printed copies and hung them in the bedroom and in the bathroom on the wall. I even put them on the fridge. Too embarrassing? Too drastic you say? I say WHY NOT! I DID NOT WANT TO BE STUCK ANYMORE! 

I decided to STORM the Kingdom and take back from the devil what he STOLE from me! Happiness!  

I didn’t work on changing my habits or doing anything special. I didn’t write in my Franklin Planner “MAKE BED, DO DISHES”, I just disciplined myself to read my list daily, several times a day. As I walked out the door, as I cooked – there were my prompters and scriptures staring me IN MY FACE. It was remarkable how quickly my habits, thoughts, and marriage changed! (Hab 2:2 comes to mind, “Then the LORD replied: “And the LORD answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.” ESV)

I chose to treat my marriage as forever, and made the decision that LOVING was better than being STUCK

IMAGINE BEING A HUSBAND

Imagine being a husband who comes home to a clean house every night, and a well made meal. Imagine that the children are all clean and respectful, and that your wife loves to be around you. She steals kisses and hugs, and in every action and reaction is positive and encouraging. How long would you as a husband resist such a wife? “Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.” Proverbs 21:9

My husband didn’t know what hit our house! He was in a wake of a Holy Ghost transformed wife, home and marriage. Everyday became like our honeymoon again, and we began celebrating our relationship daily! I was not the only one who benefitted from my lists all over the house, my husband read them and began programming his mind too. He soon made his own list and had scriptures that supported success, financial prosperity, and leadership. One of his favorites is “The blessing of the Lord it maketh rich, and He adds no sorrow unto it.” Proverbs 10:22

The key to being happily married is working on yourself and not trying to change your partner. Your partner is YOUR BEST FRIEND, give them room to grow and always encourage them to be their best selves possible. Tomorrow we are going to cover: The ABC’s of Getting on the Same Page With Your Spouse!

I pray you are enjoying this series! God wants you to have the BEST MARRIAGE NOW!

 

What To Do When You Are Married To A Dream Stealer: Part TWO

WHY CAN’T WE JUST GET DIVORCED?

“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” Malachi 2:16 NLT

LIVING AT ODDS

Living at odds is by no means easy. When a husband and a wife are going in two different directions there is nothing BUT heartache. In researching divorce and statistics, it has come to light that the majority of marriages that end in divorce do so from the wife filing against her husband. Many choosing to “let their husbands out of the arrangement”, state irreconcilable differences, neglect, or abuse. Regardless of the issue, it is the women who are leading this charge to separate. It is the women who are filing for divorce.

So as a woman, what do you do? What can you do? Maybe you once had a happy marriage totally on the same page with each other, but then it seems like one day you come home and everything is going in opposite directions. The kids are in various activities, the husband is working long hours, and you are left at home wondering what the purpose of life is beyond folding laundry.  You feel like SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE… and you know what- YOU ARE RIGHT!What kind of marriage is it, when a husband and wife do not know each other anymore? What kind of a life is it when as soon as an idea for change comes up… your spouse is right there to shoot it down?

The devil used Job’s wife to try and steal his dream:

“His wife said to him, ‘Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!'”

 

Job and his wife were not on the same page. I always find it interesting that even though the Bible talks about all of Job’s children dying and all his riches vanishing, and his health failing… his wife never dies or leaves the picture.

Why is this? Here in Job 2:9, Job’s very own wife is telling him to die! And yet, Job does not leave her nor forsake her. the Bible says in Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” When the Lord has joined a man and a woman together in marriage, they are now considered to Him ONE. He had specific instructions that the devil could not kill Job (this then also included Job’s wife- as they are one). “The LORD said to Satan, ‘Very well, then, he is in your hands; but you must spare his life.'” Job 2:6

All of Job’s children died, but not his wife. He did not consider divorcing his wife, because he understood that they were ONE. You and your spouse ARE ONE member.

What God has joined together, let man not separate.

MARRIAGE IS FOREVER, LOVE IS A CHOICE

I understand in writing this that each person has their own story, and feeling about divorce. I must however write this to the general public and in order to encourage my struggling brothers and sisters that marriage is a GOOD THING, and that you CAN get through all manner of trials and tribulations TOGETHER. We stand on the premise that MARRIAGE IS FOREVER, but love is a choice!

  • Can you LOVE someone you are at odds with? Jesus said, “Love your enemies” (Luke 6:35)
  • Can you RESPECT someone who has hurt you? Jesus says, “Lend to them without expecting to get anything back” (Luke 6:35)

Yesterday we talked about, people who have succeeded the ungodly way in life through making it their goal to quickly dismiss their adversaries, removing dream stealers at all costs. This is unfortunate.

Dismissing an adversary, is the same as running AWAY from an adversary.

As soon as a man and woman have entered into the marriage bed, it is NOT to be defiled. Leaving a spouse is in some regards as emotionally and spiritually crippling as leaving God Himself. That scripture in Matthew says, “What the LORD has joined together- let no man separate.” This means that your spouse was brought to you by God, and neither you nor any other human being has the right to separate that union.

OK, SO I AM STUCK MARRIED… NOW WHAT?!

In tomorrow’s article you are going to find some helpful tips on staying married happily, even though you and your spouse might be at odds. I have heard many stories in the last few years of marriages healed regardless of infidelity, abuse, drugs, pornography, and even lost love.

There are many men and women out there that are just like you (most worse off), and have and WILL choose to stay the course, wait it out and watch God do miracles in their marriages! They have learned how to love again!

Stay tuned tomorrow for our next article “What to Do When You Are Married to a Dream Stealer: Part THREE: So I am Stuck Married… NOW WHAT?”

 

What to Do If You Are Married to a Dream Stealer: Unevenly YOKED

Part ONE: Revealing the Dream Stealer

 

“Do not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and lawlessness have in common? What fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

WHY DO PEOPLE GET MARRIED?

I have to believe that on the whole, men and women choose to get married initially for love. Even if you justify marriage by means of “companionship, fellowship, convenience, tradition, etc.”, any time two people go through the lengths it takes to get married by law and by the recognition of their peers- love IS involved – even if you do not “love” the person, most people “love” the IDEA of being married.

Marriage can mean many different things to different people. It can mean unconditional love partners to one, compatibility partners to another, and then of course best friend and motivators to most. Marriage is an awesome institution, and if you are anything like me, you have (or have had) nothing but the highest hopes in regards to marriage and being married.

But what happens when the honeymoon feeling goes away? What happens when after some time you find out that maybe you and your spouse aren’t on the same page? What happens when you are madly in love with someone, and for whatever reason, they don’t share in your vision and decide that they are going to love you to A POINT… but NOT in regards to your vision or what you feel is your purpose in life? Can you love someone, and be found going in two different directions? Is it possible to be married to a “dream stealer” and if so… what CAN you do?

 

DEFINING A DREAM STEALER

Let’s get ONE THING STRAIGHT, there is only ONE certified dream stealer, and he is called among other things; “SATAN, the devil, the father of all lies, the adversary, the accuser of the brethren”.   (Mark 1:13, 1 John 3:8, John 8:44, 1 Peter 5:8, Rev. 12:10) It is our position as Christians, that there are forces behind the scenes of every action, and that the enemy we are fighting is NOT our spouses, best friends, mothers or fathers but the devil himself.

We are fighting an invisible and yet forceful foe- THE DEVIL. People who become dream stealers have become accustomed to living in fear and doubt, and have allowed themselves to listen to the “father of all lies” instead of God the Father. As a result, they become molded into an outward representation of a sinning and fearful heart. Good people can become dream stealers, they can go to church, they can believe in God, but they will never be able to overcome their own fears on their own power. Understand please that the devil doesn’t care if you love God or not, he just wants you to be ineffective in your displays of that love for God. “Dream stealers” can be put in your life to try and keep you from accomplishing your God-given visions and dreams. These are the “dream stealers” that we need to be wary of, and these are the confused men and women who need to be prayed for, loved on and shown successes… anyway. What is the BEST way to shut a dream stealer up and convince him that DREAMS DO COME TRUE? SUCCEED ANYWAY.

DREAM STEALERS ARE: (Job 6:14-30)

  • Fickle, unreliable, and wavering
  • Not helpful
  • Critical
  • Dishonest
  • Sell out/tattle tales
  • Judgmental

JOB HAD A DREAM LIFE

Let us consider our brother Job. The Lord Himself was speaking to the dream stealer Satan and said, “Have you noticed my friend Job? There’s no one quite like him—honest and true to his word, totally devoted to God and hating evil.” (Job 1:8)

Yes, dear friends the Lord and Satan have had conversations and yes, Satan came to God the Father and the Lord allowed Satan to test Job. Did the Lord test Job … NO! The very premise of Job and his testing was the fact that the Lord was sure of Job and his integrity. Job has in result become immortal in the minds of men, as the man who was able to STAND THE TEST.

While Job eventually became victorious in his resisting of the enemy, he had one thing going against him. He had allowed FEAR into his heart. Job, while he was a dreamer, living a dream life, had given the devil a say in his life. I believe that THIS is why the devil knew that he could get to Job- and the devil knew that Job could and would suffer.

Anytime we allow a spot of fear in our hearts, we give the devil room to move in, and we give him all the material he needs in order to cause us great pain and suffering…

And Job said “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.” Job 3:25

Job had a wife, children, land and riches. He was a prosperous man, but he was living with fear in his heart. The Bible says that he made sacrifices daily for his children’s safety and prosperity. He was a man concerned with his children, and their righteousness- so much so that he had crippled himself in doubt and fear.

The devil saw this weakness and exploited it. For the devil only sees our flesh, whereas the Lord saw Job’s heart and his strengths… as God chooses to only see the heart of a man. Some might think “Yes, but Job suffered none-the-less”, and in response you must realize that Job’s trials were NEVER about the flesh… but always about the heart.

 As dreamers, the Lord wants ALL OF US.

If you choose to be a dreamer of dreams, you must put God FIRST place in your heart and be disciplined enough to line up your actions (principles, duties, and responsibilities) with the love and desire for the Lord that you keep in your heart.

As we will cover later, Job’s trials ended IMMEDIATELY as soon as his heart changed towards his friends AND through his sacrifices and praying outwardly for THEM. His outer actions exemplified his inward actions of the heart.

ARE YOU A DREAMER… DO YOU HAVE A DREAM?

“And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:” Acts 2:17

DREAMERS ARE:

  • Dependable, reliable, stable
  • Helpful and encouraging
  • Empowering
  • Honest and upright
  • Loyal and trustworthy
  • Fair

Dreamers are not necessarily visionaries. Dreamers are men and women who do not choose to look at the negatives of life. True dreamers are men and women who have chosen to disregard the devil and ALL of his exploits and ploys. A dreamer knows in full confidence that the devil is THE LIAR and that in God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

All Christians SHOULD be dreamers, but not all dreamers are Christian.

Dreamers in the world recognize that there is an ability to do ANYTHING when you have NO FEAR. While they are NOT going onto eternity, they have learned how to function in the here and now… FEAR FREE and without abandon. Men and women in the world who do not know Jesus, but have become successful- have done so FEAR FREE. They successfully steer clear of dream stealers by moving away from home early, getting divorced, leaving a company, etc. Lost people succeed through removing ALL dream stealers in their lives. As Christians- WE CAN NOT DO THIS… so then what do we do??

Be sure to read Part Two of this series tomorrow August 16, 2011… What to Do If You Are Married to a Dream Stealer: Unevenly YOKED Part TWO: Why Can’t I Just Divorce or Leave My Dream Stealer?