Archives for September2010

Make My Problems GO AWAY! Finding the Reciprocal Action to Suicide

Q. Jessica, Why can’t there be some magic pill that I can take to make all of my problems “Go away”? Why does life have to be so HARD?

A. I woke up this morning (at the crack of dawn) thinking about suicide and death (Some would say the end to ALL problems). I have learned that anytime that the Lord wakes me up while it is still dark outside, it is because I need to write down what He has to say, and that He is speaking to someone in particular. To have this question to answer today, fits my early morning wake-up call, and is completely appropriate.

The exact words that I woke up with from the Lord were, “Suicide as THE answer to life’s problems, is a lie from the pits of hell, from the devil himself.” As you can imagine, this was a very heavy thing to wake up with on my mind. I probed a little deeper and asked God, “Lord why are you telling me this? What is YOUR answer to death and suicide?” (I have learned from Him that to every satanic negative there is a Holy Ghost inspired positive) Christ’s answer to me, “Birth!”

” Our lives are in His hands, and He keeps our feet from stumbling.” Psalm 66:9

Birth, the Reciprocal of Death

All Mathematicians know about reciprocals. You may have never thought about it, but reciprocals are everywhere. A reciprocal is in a loose term, an opposite. I have read the children’s book “Pooh’s Opposites” a million times to my children. LIGHT, DARK. UP, DOWN. In mathematics for example, the reciprocal of addition is subtraction just as the reciprocal of multiplication is division. Anytime a problem seems too tough to solve, a Mathematician will at last resort, attempt to use the reciprocal of the obvious to solve their problem.

If 2 (a) 2 = 4, What Does a=?

A Mathematician might look at the problem above, and try out a few solutions before finding the answer. Division? Multiplication? How can they get, 4 out of 2 & 2 ? Perhaps next, they try subtraction… 2-2=4? NO. Since 2-2=0 and NOT 4. With this in mind, they go back to the drawing board, and consider subtractions reciprocal… addition. So, 2+2=4 ! Eureka, they have found their answer! They tried the reciprocal and it worked!

“Too often we try a problems reciprocal LAST. Let us start today by trying the reciprocal FIRST.”

Everything Has a Reciprocal

  • The reciprocal of fear is faith.
  • The reciprocal of doubt is hope.
  • The reciprocal of theft is grace.
  • The reciprocal of sorrow is joy.
  • The reciprocal of captivity is freedom.
  • The reciprocal of lack is giving.
  • The reciprocal of hate is LOVE.

According to the Oxford Dictionary “reciprocal” literally can mean: to make a 180 degree turn around. Maybe you have heard that every action has an equal or opposite reaction, this is a common description of the Law of Reciprocating Action.

Getting back to my morning wake up call. Suicide is a lie from the devil. The devil is trying to convince you that life has no hope. He is trying to make you loose all hope, permanently. So that you no longer have the power to choose any reciprocating responses. The devil is after your God-given right to free-will and choice!

This is not a necessarily  a revelation for those who have severe mental problems. Today’s entry is a call out to the “normal” everyday people, like you and me, who have started to think so much about their problems and their life boredom, that they begin to think that suicide is the only answer. It is to these fellows, my brothers and sisters in humanity that I shout today… “SUICIDE IS A LIE FROM THE DEVIL! DO NOT RECEIVE IT, THERE IS ANOTHER ANSWER! THERE IS A RECIPROCAL TO DEATH! THERE IS A NEW BIRTH!”

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade–kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.” 1 Peter 1:3-5

The New Birth

The reciprocal of death is birth. The reciprocal of suicide, is to be “born again“. All who have committed their lives to following after Christ, who have confessed that Jesus Christ is Lord and have received Him into their hearts have been washed clean by the blood of Jesus and have been born again!

Those who choose to testify in His name, and walk out His Word, have become beacons of light for others, they are walking born again! They do not walk in hopelessness, despondence, and with a self-serving nature. The Lord, has permanently changed their identity to NEW! and IN HIM! How do we show God we love Him? How do we walk BRAND NEW? Scripture says that it is by keeping His Word that we love Him.

Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. John 14:23

We love Jesus by “keeping” His Word. We “keep” His Word by reading and living by His Bible, keeping it always first place in our mind and in our hearts.

The Bible is a problem solving, identity changing, direct link to ALL things GOD. Reading it, and living by it is the reciprocal action to all things death. If you have never read it before, start in the book of John. If you have been feeling depressed lately, and at one time knew God, it is time to get to know Him again! Read the New Testament all the way through. Hear the Words of Jesus, understand that while there is no “magic pill” to take away ALL your problems, there is a real solution to ALL of your problems and it requires a daily dose… The Word of God!

Today’s Key Takeaways:

  • Typically Mathematicians explore every answer before they come to the correct solution. If you have tried everything but Christ, than you haven’t tried it all.
  • Do not be deceived, suicide is a lie from the devil, Jesus and being “born again” is the reciprocal of suicide and death.
  • As a Christian to walk in Him we must die to our old way of living. In order to do this we must receive a new identity. This new identity, is only available through the blood of Christ washing away our sins.
  • We show God we love Him by “keeping” His Word. We “keep” His Word by reading and living by His Bible, keeping it always first place in our mind and in our hearts.

What Can You Do?

You can get saved! You can walk in the NEW BIRTH! Hallelujah! Jesus is right here, right now! All you have to do is ask Him into your heart, and commit to Him to live by His Word. That was all I did to get “born again.” I simply said, “Jesus! I need You! If You are here, show me what I need to do to solve my problems! I will commit to live by Your Word and whatever You tell me to do, from now on! Just show me what to do! I am YOURS!”

As soon as I cried out to God in the name of Jesus and committed to Him my whole life for the answer to my problems… He gave me the answer that I had been looking for! I had immediate understanding! In response to my revelation, I became a new person walking in a new birth I became totally sold out to Christ! Friend, if you aren’t willing to do the ridiculous, then don’t expect the miraculous! Receive Christ as the Lord and Savior of your life, your problems won’t “go away” (life in the flesh is a problem), but who you are going through your problems… will never be the same!

Father God, be with Your children today. Whoever this Word today was for Lord, let them know and feel Your love. I long to be able to say a name like; Mary, Kathy, Grace, George, Bob, Billy, Frank… the list goes on and on. The reality is Lord that when ALL of us stray from Your Word, all that we can see are problems! Those problems will lead us to deaths door, suicide or not. Lord, we do not desire to “die” to escape life! We desire to life full, joyful, healthy, loving lives serving You! Show us Father how to do that in You, show ALL Your children the power of the blood of Jesus! In Your Son Jesus’ name AMEN!

    “I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”

“Welcome to the family friend!”
Love Always,

If you have just prayed this prayer of salvation, and would like to ask me some questions, or need prayer, please do not hesitate to contact me at Scripture says that “Christ died for the sinners” Romans 5:8. No mater how ugly, broken, or twisted you felt you had become old things have passed away, ALL things have become new! YOU AREN’T THAT PERSON ANY MORE! Praise Jesus!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Cor 5:17

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Too Scared to “Stay-at-Home” ?

Q. Jessica, I work full time right now, and I know my future husband is going to want me to stay home and raise our kids. This pretty much scares the heck out of me, I have always had to take care if myself… What do I do?

A. Men and women who have independent spirits, don’t stay single long! It is as if as soon as you “get it all together”, someone comes into your life and you have to now learn how to do things in a whole new way. You became a magnet of attraction! Now, what you used to cook will more than likely change, what you used to do for fun will change, and how you spent your money… that will change too! So how do you transition from being completely independent and on your own… to having to trust and lean to for all, including finances? Understand that trusting your future husband for your finances, is no different than trusting God with your finances. If your husband desires to provide financially for you- let him!

“If you go against your husbands wishes and work anyway, he will have no reason to win. He has to be his desire, though.”

When Mine is Yours and Yours is Mine

The hardest thing for most couples to understand is that even though a “stay-at-home” mom is not technically working, she is in fact working the hardest job one can work. She is completely demanded upon emotionally all day long by her kids, physically by her house, and mentally by her husband (yes, a wife thinks perhaps minute by minute about meeting her husbands needs, and this takes up a lot of brain-power!).

If you were to sum up all of these stay-at-home activities into a “job title”, I suppose your stay-at-home wife could be considered a Personal Admin who operates also as the House Chef, Nanny, House Maid, Chauffeur, and Family Psychiatrist! All of these “professions” are extremely expensive, and all of them are now wrapped up into one… the stay-at-home mom!

What all must understand is that as women choose to become stay-at-home mothers and decide to begin living by faith on one income, even though they are not getting paid, they are working! They are working hard! Their husband would not be able to do what they do, in their job, to any degree of success without their wives. Unless they were paying out hundreds of thousands of dollars a year! The “stay-at-home” mom is THAT valuable!

The income then, becomes a “household” income. Belonging just as much to the at-home-Momma, as the working Papa. Through her efforts at organizing the family and running a smooth ship, she is earning income by way of saving the family money, and increasing her husbands self-worth. In this model the two have become functioning as a team now, and as long as that team learns to work together, that one income will begin to grow. Men who are happy, and confident in their home lives, earn more income.

“According to a recent NYTimes article, families where the mom’s stay home earn 25% more than families which have mom working.”

Let’s Do the Mom Math

The Working Mom Model Costs:

  • The going Day Care rate for California in 2007 was $230 a wk. If you had two children, it would have cost(with a 60$ discount) $400 a week- in 2007! Add to that inflation, and you have a weekly rate of around 420$ a wk. that is 1,890.00$ a month for two kiddos.
  • The cost of dry cleaning women’s work clothes, is around 100-200$ a month
  • A car payment on a second car (if you go in debt), is around 200-400$ depending on credit
  • Insurance for a second car is typically $60
  • If your child is in school, you will have to pay for after-school care
  • Eating dinner out, from being too tired to cook, you can expect at least $50 a week, that is an additional $200 a month
  • Lunch out, from being too tired to take lunch to work, is approx. an additional $50 a week, add another $200
  • Morning Coffee and Lattes can run you at least $3 a day, add another $21 a week
  • Buying higher priced quick and “ready to eat” meals at the store, add an additional $200 a month
  • Working woman’s wardrobe (including shoes and panty hose), let’s average it out over the year to $75 a month

The total sum to all of these expenditures is $3,146.00, this is the estimated monthly cost for a mother who has two kids to work, in the State of California in 2010.

The Stay-at-home Mom Model Costs:

  • $0 for day-care
  • $0 for dry cleaning (Sunday dress maybe $15 a month)
  • $0 for a second car, if you do not have a second car
  • There are no necessary after-school care costs
  • $0 for insurance on a second car
  • $0 on dinner Out
  • $0 on lunch Out
  • $0 on morning Coffee
  • $0 on processed food, mom can buy food and make it all
  • $0 on work clothes

The total cost to the family in a “stay-at-home” atmosphere is $0, unless of course you count the $15 in dry cleaning for Sunday clothes, then it costs you $15.

“Letting go, and trusting your husband for your finances is no different than having to learn how to trust God with your finances.”

It Makes Sense

Not only does staying at home and raising your children make since financially, it makes sense Biblically. There are many scriptures in the Word of God that support children being raised by their own parents, including their mothers. For instance: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22: 6

Also, for more understanding, you can read the entire chapter of Titus 2, to learn the portrait of a Christian wife. “Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the LORD” Proverbs 18:22

Letting go, and trusting your husband for your finances, is no different than having to learn how to trust God with your finances. Ultimately, each meal we eat, each set of clothing we purchase, and each home we have lived in… has all been supplied by Him in direct response to our work and our belief. When we press into Him, He reveals to us how to receive favor and how exactly we can do the jobs that we do. Don’t worry friend,  a “stay-at-home” mom focused on serving others in Christ, earns her “income” in a different way… she earns a successful family in return for all her hard work!

Today’s Key Takeaways:

  • Stay-at-home moms work hard!
  • It costs over $3000.00 dollars a month for a mom to work
  • It costs very little for moms to stay home and raise their children
  • If you can not trust God for your finances, you will not be able to trust your future husband with them. Learn how to trust God with your finances.

What Can You Do?

Begin trusting God for your finances. Read His Word and let Him lead you to what to do next to pay your bills, and get on track financially. Stay clear of debt, and refuse to buy things that would put your account in danger. Don’t write bad checks, and don’t expect money to fall from the sky. God loves you, and in His loving you, He shows you through wisdom and understanding how to follow Him, and let Him take care of you. There is no “My Way” in “God’s Way” of doing things.

Father God, be with my brothers and sisters, show them the value of  raising their own children. Ultimately, I know that you have called us into the family business, for those of us that can both raise our children together we say THANKS! For those of us that have a hard working husband, who supports us with our children, we say THANKS! For those of us who are working towards the ability to have the faith to stay at home and raise our children, we say THANKS! Thank You Father for your Word and Your wisdom to show us how we can begin to trust You for our finances. In Your Son Jesus’ Name AMEN!

God Bless you My friends,

Love Always,


Thank you for reading this Whole & Heavenly Series for Singles.

You can subscribe to these articles via email here @: [Please, do not forget to verify your email address, when you receive a confirmation email]

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How Do I Deal With Other Peoples BAGGAGE?!

Q. Jessica, I am in a relationship and we are very much in love. However, I am continually having to deal with my loved ones baggage. It is like it is me, him & his entire past! What do I do?

A. How simple life would be if we were all raised in an oblivious and perfect bubble! Alas we were not so whether we are married or not, we all have had, and will continue to have issues to have to deal with. Issues that more or less have made us who we are to-this-day. Learning how to overlook issues that have caused trust issues is hard, but yes, there are some things that you can do to “rise above” the “baggage” and begin to see your future spouse (or spouse), as the BEST person that God intended for them to be.

“Being able to see someone as a King or a Queen, will be impossible, if you continue to choose to only see their failures.”

The World Looks Shady, When You are in the Dark

How many times have you walked inside the house, looked around and noticed that something was wrong. After a minute you chuckle, and realize that you still have your sunglasses on! As soon as you take them off you *sigh* and think, “Ok, now that’s better!” When you walk around with your sunglasses on you are “seeing” things in the dark, the world has not grown dark, but your point of view is.

Jesus covered this in Matthew. As He was ministering to people and speaking in front of the Pharisees He began illustrating to them that it was impossible to see things clearly, as long as they had an obstructed view. The Message Version of the Bible says it this way:

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.” Matt 7:1-5

When we see people full of baggage, and continue to only see their failures, it will be impossible to see them as God sees them. It will be impossible to see your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse as anything other than FULL of baggage and failure.

“It is always our own baggage that is obstructing our view.”

It Took Me Five Years to be “Happily Married”

For the first five years of marriage Jeff and I struggled in our relationship. We were consistently bickering and fighting. Frankly I had wondered what I had gotten myself into. Having only known each other for three months before we were married, we really had no idea about each other and all, of our previous “baggage” was getting in the way. The hope was there, but the reality was that we both had a tremendous amount of growing to do. It took me five years to stop trying to CHANGE my husband, and to begin focusing only on changing me. As I became happy and fulfilled… I fell more and more in love with my husband, and I can now positively say that I am HAPPILY MARRIED woman!

So what to do, when your spouse is not where you know you need them to be? What do you do when you know that they are hurting, and suffering and carrying the “weight of the world” on their shoulders? Today I am here to encourage you in the understanding, that you can not do anything to make others grow, even your mate. It is like trying to push a wet noodle! It is impossible!

All we can and must do is work on ourselves! It is our own baggage, that causes us to see the worst in others, metaphorically speaking, “It is our own problem with food- that causes us to see the “fat” in others.”

Five Tips to Help You Influence Others into “Loosing Their Baggage”

  1. Begin to see others in the purest light as possible, by completely forgiving the people in your life that have hurt you. Too many times we judge another person, based on what our parents, teachers, bosses etc, have done to us.
  2. Encourage yourself, when no one else will. Begin telling yourself, “I am AWESOME, because God is in ME, and God is AWESOME.” As you begin to see yourself created in God’s image, you will begin to see others as God’s children too.
  3. Post scripture around the house. Take the time to write down your favorite scriptures like, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” Phil 4:13. And hang them on the walls, mirrors, fridge, anywhere you can. As you walk past them, you will read them. The more you see them, the more your mind will begin to be programmed for success and personal victory. (As a side benefit your loved ones will read them too, even subconsciously. Think of them as personal billboards for spiritual prosperity!)
  4. Read out loud to your spouse, or loved one. Find a book that is spiritually intriguing, perhaps a Biography of a Man or Woman of God that you respect. When you are in the car traveling together, ask if it is ok for you to read aloud. Treat your car like a University of Success!
  5. Listen to the Word in the home, in the car, while working out, at any time you can! Don’t forget that with Mp3 players, smart phones, and even cassette tapes from the thrift store… audio input is readily available and easily accessible! Through iTunes you can download hundreds of sermons and podcasts of your favorite preachers. Listen to them with your loved ones, and even while you sleep.. they may not indicate that they are listening… but they are!

Today’s Key Takeaways:

  • Bombarding our minds with positive propaganda of the Word of God, is the key to dealing with ALL baggage, period. Our own, and others. As others begin to see the change in you they will desire to get what you have got, a life with no baggage.
  • At any point in your relationship, you can begin living baggage free, you must turn to God and His Word to learn how this is done.
  • Use audio/visual tools and prompters to promote a spiritual success consciousness in your life. Use your TV, Radio, Books, Smart Phone, Pen & paper, 3×5 cards, any and ALL medial to help you deal with the issues “baggage” of life. It will not be long before your thoughts of God’s Word supersede all of the programming of the past!

“Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost.” – Robert H. Schuller

Suggested Resources:

Here are some great book suggestions, these are some of the books that I have been blessed to be able to read out loud to my husband (We spend a lot of time driving!) :

George Washington Carver in His Own Words by George Washington Carver

Up From Slavery by Booker T. Washington

Ever Increasing Faith by Smith Wigglesworth

The Autobiography of George Muller by George Muller

The Greatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino

You Can if You Think You Can by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

My Journey by Robert H. Schuller

God Wants You to Be Rich by Paul Zane Pilzner

The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell

Father God, be with Your children today. Love them and help them as they choose to follow after You and seek deliverance of their own baggage. Show them Father God INSTANT relief! Give them the peace that passes all understanding and give them the patience to watch and wait out the next few months of positive change in their families. Encourage them through the process of waiting, that they CAN do it, and that their loved ones WILL see a drastic change, and want to be apart of it! In Your Son Jesus’ name, AMEN!

God Bless you Friends-

Love Always,


Thank you for reading this Whole & Heavenly Series for Singles.

You can subscribe to these articles via email here @: [Please, do not forget to verify your email address, when you receive a confirmation email]

You can become a fan of Wholehearted Ministries on Facebook @:

You can follow Jessica on Twitter @:

You can send your questions to

Help, What Do I Do? I Feel Like My Relationship is Suffocating Me!

Q. Jessica, I really love my fiance, and we are going to get married. The only problem is that I feel like I am suffocating, she seems to want 100% of me all the time, and I don’t know what to do… is this a problem or am I just having “cold feet”?

A. Anytime that anyone wants more than you can give, you have a problem! Whether it is a child, a girlfriend, a boss, a parent, or even a spouse. People who are “needy” are people with needs! While your fiance might be extracting more from you than you feel you can give, if you love her, and the Lord has shown you that she is the one for you to marry, there are some things that you can do.

“A needy person has yet to put God first place in their lives, and are looking to you to complete them.”

And Jesus Healed Them All

In Matt 12:15, there are found five of some of the most important words in the entire Bible, “and He healed them all.” That was it period, the Bible says that all of those who were hurt or sick, if they were touched  by Jesus in some way, they were all healed- every single one of them!

In the case of people who are emotionally needy and consistently going to you for everything, you need to understand that they have yet to be touched by Jesus in a personal way in order to be “healed, restored and completed” by Him. They either have not completely surrendered, or perhaps do not have the Biblical knowledge that it is God who they should be going to for their every need. 

It is our Christian responsibility to minister Christ to all the needy (even your fiance), and help guide them in the understanding that even though we as individuals might be “spiritual”, we ARE NOT God, and since we are not God there is nothing that we can do as human beings to completely fill the void and emptiness of their hearts.

So there tends to be a disconnect between the needy and the completed, and that is; that needy people need, and whole people who are without need, tend to push them away! This can be a never-ending cycle! Someone has a need, and those who do not see the “big picture”, push them away out of pure exhaustion! Guess what, you “givers” have needs to! You need to be filled up!

“If your relationship has put you in the position of god to your intended, you have a recipe for relationship failure.”

When Push Comes to Shove

So when push comes to shove, do you run away or do you stay? Please recognize that the person that you are with needs Jesus, but you can help them come to this revelation on their own. How? Well, it will take work, but if you are up to the task and complete it, you will have built a relationship on a solid foundation and you will have developed a new best-friend!

In all reality, I know that not all people can go off and “get-married” immediately. Planning, families and cultures give us some challenges to overcome. Remaining faithful to God and each other while you wait for the honeymoon night, can be just as difficult. So the answer that I have to you my friend, to over come “cold feet”, is to get involved! Don’t “push away” those who are “needy”… become active in life, and in your faith!

Somethings That You Can Do As You Pass The Time…


  1. Put God’s Word first place in YOUR heart. Start a Bible Study of your own. A morning faith period just for you to be able to carry out your day and your obligations to minister to your loved ones.
  2. Join a Bible Study, Life Group, or Small Group that is active in its community. Find a group where you can go out and “do the stuff” of Christianity. Groups where you just sit and study, are not necessarily going to encourage your future spouse to “get out of their own head”. Get busy!
  3. Discover what your “needy” significant other has always dreamed to do… write books, be around children, sing songs, go to college, learn a new activity? Encourage them to become the person that they always dreamed of becoming, do not let your own fear of losing them turn you into their ONLY source of support! This is your best-friend, encourage them to be all that God has desired for them to be!
  4. Get involved in their lives, find out more about all that they do. Pay them MORE attention than normal. I once heard Pastor Creflo Dollar say that when he asks his wife if he can “Go out with the boys”, and she says, “Sure!” He has been doing it right! If there is hesitation or resistance when he asks, well, obviously he hasn’t been ministering to his wife- long enough.
  5. Understand that in marriage, there will be periods in which you are stronger in your faith then your spouse. This “nearly married” life preempting your marriage is a great time to challenge you to the reality of relationships. As you get your needs are met from Christ, you will have plenty left for your spouse. If it is TV, sports, friends, or your job that is doing all of the filling… your ability to minister to your “needy” loved ones will be severely impacted. That time in the Word will fill you, so that you can be able to lead others – including your fiance- to Christ. This is why not having sex before marriage is so important! Your fiance never will stop going to you as her god, if you keep having sex with her! Therefore, you must be STRONGER in your own faith to overcome the physical temptation to continue having sex before marriage. You are exemplifying Christ-in-action for her, and as you show her that Christ FILLS EVERY ONE of your needs (even physically), her needs can be met by Him as well! Do not worry, if she is the one for you to be married to, she will not “leave you” for Christ, she will respect you and be indebted to you for introducing her to The Lover of Her Soul!

Today’s Key Takeaway’s:

  • Needy people have needs, and all people are needy.
  • If your fiance/girlfriend is clinging to you, did you design it that way? Or are you pointing them to God to fill their needs? We must begin to put Christ #1.
  • Ministering to our loved ones, is only possible if we minster to God in fellowship one-on-one, and allow God to minister His Word back to us. We can not give what we do not have!
  • It is impossible for your fiance to go to God to have all of her needs met, as long as you two are sleeping together. If you go to her to have your physical needs met, you are speaking to her that Christ can not meet EVERY need, for EVERY situation.

“In relationships two halves DO NOT make a whole, but two wholes ALWAYS equal a POWER COUPLE!”

What Can You Do?

If you are ready to be married, and God has showed you that the person you are with is “the one”, now it is simply a waiting time till the big day, ENJOY each others company! Go out to eat, get involved in the community, stay focused on the Word of God and use this time to minister to each other His Word. Invite God in as the “third wheel”, but intend to treat Him as first! Take Him everywhere the two of you go, mentally understanding and agreeing to look at each other as if Christ is right there with you, because in all reality… He is!

Father God, encourage all who read this to go directly TO YOU. Remind them that You are all that they will ever need, fill them up to overflowing so that they can begin to be depositors of You to others. If there is anyone who is reading this, and feels as if they are suffocating or “stuck” Father God, show them that You can fill them up to overflowing and minister to them how exactly best they can begin to minister to their own loved ones. Needy people need You God, show us today how we can exemplify You in all that we do! Renew our strength! Thank You Father, You are our everything and we desire for You to be FIRST place in our lives! In Your Son Jesus’ Name, AMEN!

God Bless you my friends,

Love Always,


Thank you for reading this Whole & Heavenly Series for Singles.

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Will I Be Able to Love My Future Spouse More Than My Children?

Q. Jessica, I like the idea of developing a relationship that is on a solid foundation where two people are in unison, however I don’t know if that’s something I would be able to do. As a single parent, I don’t I feel as though I would be able to put somebody who has not been in my life as long as my daughter, before her. Is this possible?

A. What a great question, and it is a question for all of us, not just for unmarried individuals. How on earth are we supposed to put anyone “above” our family? How are we supposed to find a companion, and then love them more than our own children? The answer is not actually found in creating a new certain “point-of-view”. The answer is found in learning first how to understand priorities, and living according to the Spirit.

“Putting God first in our lives is a matter of priority. Successfully learn how to do this, then living for your future spouse above your child will become easy.”

A Man Without Spiritual Priority

In the book of Mark, there is an account of a man who goes up to Jesus seeking a life free of persecution. Like most of us, his stuff has become his life, and he had grown sick and tired of it.

I have known many parents who are guilty of this same exact issue, living, breathing, and spending every waking moment for their children. The man in Mark was desperate to life a live free from persecution and is found running up to Christ and asking, “What shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?” Eternal life in the Greek is: ‘aionios zoe’, and aionios zoe literally means, life without ionic (natural) persecutions/limitations.

Christ, in His knowledge and wisdom, looks at the man and says (in a sense), “Brother, ever since you were a kid you have known how to live a moral life. You have lived by a good moral code, and obeyed all of God’s commandments.” The man responds, “Yes, yes, all of this I have done since I was a kid!” Scripture then says that Jesus loved him. God loves it when we obey His commandments. He loves it when we choose the high-road, and always try to do everything right. He loves seeing us striving for excellence, but He also knows that there is more to life since the coming of His Son, than just living life by rules and regulations.

“Choosing to life live by moral code alone, is not choosing to live a life by Biblical code, or according to Christ’s Commission. Living a life free of limitations and following after Christ in the Spirit, this is really LIVING!”

Living a Life by Morality Alone, is Living a Dead Life

There is a problem living life by a strict moral code only. Our tendency to life live “morally” tends to justification. Like, “We can keep having unmarried sex, because someday we will get married, and I am always faithful.” Science has even proven that if you are trying to loose weight, you had better vary the exercises, because your  body will get lazy and ineffective as it grows accustomed to the same repetitive movements.

The simple fact is that living according to law, and not Spirit will cause you burn out! How many things “perfect” can you do at one time? Can you perfectly balance a plate, stand on one foot, speak to your children, think perfect thoughts, and listen to perfected people- all at once? What a tall order! The root of the words morality, mortal, mortal, mortality is the latin word “mor”, this word “mor” means “life”. Thus the word morality means and insinuates “life or death generating, good or bad deciding”.  The reason why I state that living a life by morality is living a dead life, is because if you choose to live your life according to right vs wrong only, you have limited yourself to this physical realm. We must learn how to follow Christ, and let Him lead us by the Spirit, in order to position us and equip us with the ability to follow a spouse in the natural.

After Jesus and the man discussed that he had become a creature living by a code of morality his whole life, Christ spoke to him and said “You have done well my friend, however there is one thing that you are not doing.” Curious, the man all-ears listens as Christ tells him what he needs to do. Christ goes on to tell him, “In order to live an eternal life, a life without persecutions, what you need to do is sell everything that you have that is persecuting you, and follow me. Get sold out to My program.” Grieved, the man went away. (Mark 10)

It is not enough to just try and life “perfect”. It is the whole reason why God sent His Son to die for our sins! He knew how impossible it was for us to life “perfect”. Instead however, He sent us His Son to live “perfect” for us, so that we can live “perfected” in Him. Understanding how to put God first place in your life above your children, or even your spouse, is to understand that God and His Word is the source of all things that we need. If the man in Mark would have waited around for Jesus to elaborate, he would have come to understand Christ saying, “If you follow me, and my way of doing things, everything you have ever wanted and needed will be given to you- free of a “moral” code, you will be living on and by a Christ Commission!

Today’s Key Takeaway’s:

  • Understanding how to put a future spouse above your child, takes understanding how to put God first place in your life. Without the one, you can not have the other.
  • As you put Christ as the priority of your life, and you begin to follow Him, you can rest in the Christ Commission. Every decision you make moving forward is a Christ-like one and there is nothing like living a life of “compounding Christ!”
  • Children will come and go, through death spouses may come and go, relatives will come and go. All of these people have earthly limitations (they have life only), Father God however has ZERO limitations and will always be there for you. Putting Him in a priority position in your life, builds a foundation on an unlimited source!

What Can You Do?

Making the Word of God (the Bible, and Christ’s way of doing things) priority in your life, and choosing to live a life based on the Christ Commission and not on moral code alone, requires a complete sell-out to God. Just like the man who sought Christ, and Christ told him to sell everything that he had to follow Him, we too must “sell” all that we have- all that stuff that HAS us! We must become sell-outs for Christ! You can start by getting rid of all of your anti-Christ books, pictures, music, magazines, movies, “friendly” associations, clothes, etc. You can not get rid of family, you can not get rid of friends. You can however begin to live your life as an example of Christ in action for your children, and as far as negative family is concerned, distance yourself.

I know that it seems kind of overwhelming to refer to things as  “anti-Christ”, but in all honesty, the spirit of the Anti-Christ is found in everything that goes against Christ and His Word! Maybe you have never thought of your things as ‘talismans, vodoo dolls, or good-luck charms’ but if it is negative, or comes against what you know is in the Word of God- it is not for you! If you question your things and their ‘holiness’ go to your heart, your Pastor, and the Word of God, judge them by Phil 4:8. Would you die for them, in order to keep them…? If so, then your things have you! You have not completely sold-out! Sell-out, follow Jesus!

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Phil 4:8

“Wholehearted and SOLD OUT!”

Father God, be with your children. Show them that as sell-outs to You, they will never lack anything! Psalm 34:10 says, “The young lions lack food and suffer hunger, but they who seek (inquire of and require) the Lord [by right of their need and on the authority of His Word], none of them shall lack any beneficial thing.” Show Your children Father the ease of putting You first, their spouses second and their children third as a reasonable and completely do-able and necessary thing, in order to be free from persecution. Show them Lord that ordinary living, is living in mortality- but extraordinary living, is living in You! Give us all Your grace today, and forgive us for being out-of-line, bring us our future spouses and show them the same revelation. I desire to be a sell-out, married to a sell-out! In Your Son Jesus’ name AMEN!

God Bless you friends,

Love always,


Thank you for reading this Whole & Heavenly Series for Singles.

You can subscribe to these articles via email here @:

You can become a fan of Wholehearted Ministries on Facebook @:

You can follow Jessica on Twitter @:

You can send your questions to